Turkey and Pie, Oh My! Tips on Thanksgiving


November can often feel like a painfully slow month. You just finished Halloween, or as some people like to call it “October.” And you just can’t wait for Christmas. But hold up, you have to wait a whole month. Sure Thanksgiving is in there, which is nice. Let’s face it, Thanksgiving is no Christmas. So how can one sit through Thanksgiving without secretly having Christmas on the back of their mind? Well, I’ll tell you.

Tip 1. Prepare your small talk with distant family ahead of time. Know what to say, know what to be prepared for. Some sample questions your distant family might want to spring on you are:

“How is school going?”

“You have a boyfriend, yet?”

“You still do interpretive dancing, or was that a phase?”

“What colleges are you thinking about?”

This is a tactic distant family often uses to throw you off. But if you are prepared, you have a shot of passing. Now if you don’t want to answer these questions, use what I like to call “The Neutral Shrug.” This is when you answer the question…  but did you really?

An example of this is:

“How is school going.”

“(fake laughter) You know.”

Boom, you just hit them with The Neutral Shrug. They don’t even know what hit ‘em.

Tip 2. Look good, but casual. In other words, flex but on the D.L. Thanksgiving is the day you can pull out your cutest sweater and act as if you just found it in the back of your closet.

Best part, it is a sweater so it is obviously a bit lose. This meaning you can get your food baby with absolutely ZERO GUILT and ZERO EVIDENCE.

But keep in mind we do live in Louisiana, so the weather can do a 360 any minute. Another reason you have to be on guard. Not only is your distant family ready to throw you off, but so is Mother Nature herself.

If all else fails, wear a Thanksgiving T-shirt with a pun on it that all the kids find funny. This will still count as a strong flex.

Tip 3. Listen carefully, you might miss something. You’re not the only one who has Christmas on the back of your mind. Most of the people at Thanksgiving are in the same boat, you all are just avoiding eye contact.

The people around you might be dropping hints on what they hope to get under the Christmas tree. Thanksgiving could help relieve the stress of Holiday shopping for those bad at gift giving (you know who you are).

WARNING: Be careful. If everyone at Thanksgiving is using this tactic, then said person might end up with 10 to 100 of the same product.

Step 4. Host Thanksgiving yourself. This. This is important. If the dinner is held at your house, you are the unspoken, but understood, royalty of the day.

YOU are who people ask “Where’s the bathroom” to.

YOU are the person who decides what music plays in the background.

      YOU decide when to whip out the “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” DVD.

      YOU decide where the dessert table will be.

      YOU…get to clean up the next morning. So keep that in mind.

Step 5. Just have fun. It is hard to notice, but each year goes by really quick. Enjoy the people who are with you. And if that is impossible, at least enjoy the food.

Thanksgiving is one holiday out of only a few that you can get together with loved ones and be thankful for the past year. Christmas can wait, enjoy the moment while you still have it.

May you win the football game. May you see your favorite character as a balloon in the Macy’s Day Parade. May you win the favor of the Wishbone. And may you have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with laughter and delicious food.